omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
someone owes me an orgasm
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
