I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
