Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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