i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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