I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
