i don't like sucking hair
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize