she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
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