I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
