I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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