Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize