Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
