Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
