Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
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