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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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