anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
COCAINE IS GR8
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
