After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Randomize
