That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Shame is for Republicans.
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