There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Someone shattered a urinal.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
