How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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