So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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