i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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