where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
