btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
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