where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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