Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
