i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
