Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
