This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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