Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
