we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
MIDGETS
????
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
