Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You can't special order awesome
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Randomize
