No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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