my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
