do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
