I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
