i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
