I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
