I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
