I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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