you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize