If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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