He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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