By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
