Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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