just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Randomize
