I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize