The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Ladies don't puke and tell
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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