The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
