Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
