So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
