Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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