i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
