If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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