No awkward lesbian experiences without me
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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