Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
how does that bad decision feel?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
