google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
