bring money and cleavage
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
