Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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