...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
