I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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