drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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