I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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