And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
