69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize